Mitcham County Grammar School For Boys

A Memory of Mitcham.

Mitcham County Grammar School for Boys Remembered
Memory is a selective thing, the best is easy, but the mind glosses over the worst. Some things recollected as certainties turn out to be not quite so. These are things that I remember although I can’t guarantee their accuracy.
I lived in Bond Road behind the “Balsa Wood Factory” actually Skyleada Model Aircraft Kit manufacturers. I went to Bond Road Primary School then Western Road Secondary School. In 1948. I failed the 11 plus exam that year but my friend Howard Lidiard passed. In 1949 I scraped in after an interview with the Headmaster, Mr Doig. It was quite an ordeal never having met such a lofty person before. Howard accompanied me on my first day for which I was very thankful.
Some of the boys in that 1949 intake.
Ralph Smith, Smith MG, Smith MJ, Ken Collins, John Davis, Jack(?) Davis, Brian Moore, Ken Meade, Michael Poncia, “Chick” Henn, Brian Foster, Harold Scotting, Robert Bristow, Fielder, Coward, Hunt, Skinner, Gillett, Watkins, Moyce.
Teachers.
Some of the teachers over my five years in descending order of preference-
Mr “Boggy” Marsh, Maths and General Science. A great teacher with relaxed control over the class. His interest was astronomy and he was easily led astray from the lesson to discuss his pet subject. I can still hear him saying “at last a red herring” as a question was deliberately asked which had a reference to astronomy.
Mr “Charlie” Madden, History. I don’t know why he was called Charlie, maybe something to do with the comedian Cheerful Charlie Chester. I liked his fresh and breezy manner; I like history to this day and am grateful to him for getting me interested. I would have got an “O” level easily but the GCE paper had subjects I had never heard of. I was definitely cheated.
Mr Hallam, Geography. No nickname! I liked geography and still do. I got an O level. A triumph for him more than me.
Mr “Rusty” Norton, English Language and Literature. We were fans of Geoff Duke and Ray Amm on their 500cc Manx Nortons in the TT Races, hence “Rusty”. Don’t know why. He must have been a good teacher because even with my apathy to study I got O levels in those two subjects.
Mr “ Tim” Harper. General Science. He had the habit of closing his eyes for several second whilst talking. There was a chemistry teacher who was a bit sleepy. They were known as Weary Willie and Tired Tim after two cartoon characters. Despite that he was an engaging teacher of an interesting subject.
Mr Holmes- Music. Taught classical music but did play a boogie woogie number once which went down well. We were assembled in the gym once for a musical treat. In came this stocky, bearded singer who sang “You’ll forget the Little Ploughboy” in soprano. It was so funny we got the giggles and we just couldn’t stop. There were mutterings of retribution but it’s just wasn't that easy to stop a whole row of us choking back the laughter. He was Alfred Deller. I heard a programme about him recently, apparently quite famous for his voice all those years ago. I still smile at the memory of that performance.
Mr Jones, French. Known as “Jones the French”. He was OK; we all struggled with interest as we thought that it would be more useful if the French learned English. We had a book once about some French criminal called “Slim Kerrigan”. I used to be known as “Sim” but Michael Poncia started calling me “Slim” a name that stuck. I’m not slim now.
Mr Jones, Art. Known as “Jones the Art”. Harmless but not very engaging. He had a 1920s Austin Seven, an open tourer. Somebody tied some tin cans under it and he clattered off down the road to hoots of laughter. Apparently he took it all in good heart and didn’t seek retribution.
Mr “Pepper” Wright, Mr Samuels. Maths. Can’t remember anything much about them. Couldn’t have been too bad. I did get an “O” level which was the most useful thing I got from school.
Mr “Pubby” Pirbright. I remember his voice but not what he taught.
Monsieur Debevere. French. He was Polish and just couldn’t control the class, with many students getting silly, but not me. Mr Doig swept into the class one day, total silence fell. He pointed to three boys at random and told them to stand outside his office where they later received three strokes of the cane. In a grave miscarriage of justice I was one. Poor M. Debevere left shortly afterwards. I felt sorry for him and hoped he found a more suitable position; he was much too gentle for adolescent boys.
Mr “Marty” Martindale, PT. Not a very pleasant person, I suspect he didn’t like his job. But we were fit and clean.
Mr Judge. Latin. Unkindly known as “Blind Pew” because of his almost complete blindness. I found his lessons unpleasant, he was always listening intently for any misdemeanour. We all understood his problem but there was always tension. He once told a boy to sit down and pointed at him. One brave soul told him it was a raincoat hanging up at the back. Grim Silence. I must confess that once Ken Collins and I were hopelessly behind with our homework. We sneaked into the class at lunch break and copied Skinner’s usually excellent work (sorry about that, Skinner). We put in a few deliberate mistakes. Mr Judge listened to homework in alphabetical order, Ken and I got through but Skinner coming later roused his suspicions about copying and we nearly had a catastrophe. Fortunately he let it go.
Mr Woodiwiss. Woodwork. Most unpleasant. He once told us he had a brain tumour. I remember him attacking one boy with a piece of wood for some error in his work. He left shortly afterwards, I believe he died from that tumour.
Mr “Podge” Ayerst. Maths. I don’t remember much about him except that I was glad I didn’t have him after the first year. He left in “unfortunate circumstances”. I didn’t really know what that meant then but I do now. He was alleged to be the Vicar of Titsey in Kent; you can imagine the hilarity that caused. When he died a year or two later some boys cycled up there to check on his grave.
Sport and Fitness.
Rugby, cricket, cross country running, athletics, swimming. You couldn’t complain about lack of sport. Plus PT. With showers after everything we were very clean. One of my abiding memories was having a wet towel in my satchel most days. I am most impressed with the way everyone was expected to participate, only one boy being excused with a doctor’s certificate.
The Grand Cross Country and the Grand Relay each year were great examples of total participation.
My introduction to rugby started with the ball being kicked into my solar plexus. I went down in agony and heard some boy saying “Please Sir, Simmons is injured” The reply was “Get on with the game, he’s only winded”. I survived. I enjoyed rugby, sloshing about in the mud on that ground near the windmill. “Chick” Henn was our Black House Captain being built for the game. I was fleet of foot and played on the wing, occasionally scoring a try.
Our introduction to swimming consisted of Marty assembling us on the side of the pool at Mitcham Baths and simply saying “jump in and hold onto the side”. A very effective start, I think most of us quickly learnt to swim. Some of us used to go before school, at twopence a time it was good value.
Manners and Discipline.
School uniform was an absolute necessity. All teachers were addressed as “Sir” and we doffed our caps when meeting them outside school. Only the Head and his deputy could wield the cane but I can remember getting a cuff from Mr Samuels for fooling around at lunch time. I have no idea what goes on in schools nowadays but I doubt that it is anything like that.
There was an assumption that we were nearly all Protestants, as the Head said “Jews and Catholics are excused” at Assembly. Only a few walked out and we sang hearty Protestant hymns.
A special treat was the outing on the day the 11 Plus exams were held. We went to Hampton Court one year, a hike in the South Downs another. My favourite was the Natural History Museum at Kensington. I was fascinated and I went on my own later. I also went in 2015, it was still good but overrun with tourists.
Finally
There was no effort to enlighten us as to what to do with our lives after leaving school. I didn’t have a clue and since National Service loomed only 12 months after leaving I wound up in an Office in the City. Having got into the RAF I eventually wound up in Australia on the nuclear tests. This later led to working in private industry on guided missiles and with electronics companies in Adelaide. My academic achievements at Mitcham Grammar were decidedly modest but they got me through my working life.
Well done Mitcham County Grammar School for Boys.
Jack Simmons (1949-1954)
30 Sep.2016