Holland On Sea 1993

A Memory of Clacton-On-Sea.

Holland is a bustling Essex coastal town
`resplendent`-a bride in her wedding day gown,
tree lined avenues, with neat little plots,
well kept gardens and a place for the tots,
a school, four churches, library and hall,
a pet shop, two surgeries and a doctor `on call.`
`Jeremy Oates` is the chemist who certainly knows his pills
(He’ll mix you a `potient` that’ll soon cure all known ills)
and `Kings Drug Store` is where his `empire ` extends,
here in Holland he’s well known and has many friends.
Holland Motors`-in `auto parlance`, these boys are `hot toast`
though Citroen dealers, will fix any make-that’s no boast.
At the `Tavern`, good food, beer and, some nights, a band,
with snooker tables upstairs if you want to try your hand?
Two Post Offices to make sure your letters go far,
keep in touch with your friends if you haven’t a car.
At the Red Cross Hall, regular meetings they hold
and outside, occasionally, second hand `clobber` is sold.
At `regent` (they’re specialists)browse for a while,
see furniture(re-upholstered on site)-impeccable style.
A new business-`the Potting Shed` has every shape and size
of pots, to show off your `blooms`-you’re sure to win a prize.
Maurice and Sue’s `Holland Hardware`-extended now includes
`The Pet Shop`-everything for your pampered one-tasty dog and cat foods.
`Bradley’s Newsagents`(it just `rolls off the lips`)
Vic sells everything from batteries to paper clips.
`Always` hairstyling is `tops`-tell everyone that,
and don’t hide their `coiffure` under your hat!
`Holland Butchers`-wide choice, good price, fine fare.
`That’s nice`-aptly named from the range of household ware.
No town, no matter how small, can be quite complete
without a `Caring Co-op` placed in it’s main street.
Banks(we used to have five , but now down to two!)
`Lloyds`-friendly service without too much ado
and Max, our `man at NatWest` is an amiable figure,
he tackles customer queries with his usual vigour.
Dave, at `Leisure games`, he may sell you a kite
a kit or computer disc but, if you want an unusual bite
to eat,,`The New Hong Kong` is for you
(they even do roast duck, chicken or stew!)
`WRS insurance` will arrange `umbrella cover`
for those rainy days(that’s if you’re a `sun lover!)
here too , money can be deposited without a care,
open and account with the `Halifax`-see you in there?
The church spire of St Bart’s points proudly to the sky,
a testament to the Almighty, who sits upon high
and if your soul is cleansed, but your socks are still dirty,
there’s a washateria that stays open daily `til eight thirty.
`Holland Building Supplies`(Cha`s and John are full of mirth)
next door, Richard, `DRB` will make windows that don`t cost the earth.
In the Opticians, focus clearly, they’ll help you to do,
with a smart pair of `specs`-contact lenses too.
`Titfords` renowned funeral service will be needed by all
when the `boss in the sky` makes His final roll call!!
`Cedars` restaurant, ideally placed, their menu nothing does lack
and, if time is a bit tight, they’ll make you a takeaway snack.
Now, `Holland Jewellers`-that’s the  place if `flush your feelin``,
they’ll show you fine gems that’ll send you a reelin!`
In `Peters` next door, versatility is the order,
vegetables, fruits and bulbs for your border.
`Candys`-plants, flowers and all things that are sweet,
`Happy Shopping` in there-go on, give yourself a treat.
`Keeble and Passmore`(solicitors)will advise you best
when pressing legal problems put you to the test.
And, in King’s Avenue again, Peggy’s `Cards `n` Things`
has stationary, `nick knacks` a plenty, mugs and key rings.
In the `Troubadour Club` medieval minstrels don’t roam,
family entertainment, good food-so why stay at home?
Still in Kings Avenue, right next to this club,
is the Methodist Church(but they don’t do `grub!`)
but they’ll fill your soul with a Heavenly dish,
as, from over the road wafts the smell of fresh fish,
in the `Friendly Fisherman` whether chips, burger, or cod
(they are closer than most to this house of God!)
In `Bowers Butchers there’s invariably laughter,
they’ll have you `in stitches` from now `til hereafter,
the chief instigators are Ron and his mate Pete,
with their daily diet of innuendo `bout items of meat?
`Holland Electrics`-that’s a bike shop(strange name?)
all manner of repairs inside-he’s good at his `game.`
In `J`s` newsagents, first class service you’ll get,
in here can be found what you want-you can bet,
and `over the way` `KB` (accountant of turf) if you fancy a flutter,
will accept your wager gladly-to them it’s `bread and butter!
`Maureen` in the wool shop has made her name in knitting,
(well, it gives one something to do whilst idly sitting??)
`Paul Newbold`s` the architect who will draw you a plan
approved by the council- he’s a professional man!
In `Lins` fruit/veg` and garden ware(search gnome `ore!?)
and, in her neighbours, `Cleaves, sample fresh bread galore.
At the `Alliance and Leicester` know that your money’s  OK,
they invest wisely` on the market`-experience comes into play.
Whilst `Michael Davies Insurance`-experts in their field,
will find you a `package`, top benefits to yield.
Up on `Blenkos corner`, this shop opens long hours,
Jim  in their recently won a bouquet of flowers;
here within charm and humour is not outdated
for, in a national newspaper promo` was he nominated,
as `shopkeeper extraordinaire` by his loyal patrons
(he’s the darling of the local `blue rinsed matrons!`)
Warners antiques`-second hand furniture, objects d`art,
`Giorgio’s restaurant-English cuisine or Italian `a la carte.`
`Golden Star Takeway`-there`s more than just meals in there,
owner, Robert Wong-international photographer with a flair.
`Baronowski Carpets`- just to please is the `Baron’s aim.
whilst `Spot on video/photography` will put YOU in in frame.
`The Flamingo restaurant` is a very popular venue,
so too is the Kingscliffe with it’s grand ocean view.
keep your hair in good condition, let `Roots` shampoo and set
and at `Clarkes Associates` next door, check the property market.
Up on the Marine parade, promenaders `take the air,`
this part of the seafront, though most definitely not bare,
has suffered from `cutbacks`-council projects `on hold.`
and, in places, the natural flora is again apparent, bold
In days not so long ago, this embankment was awash
with a myriad  of coloured flower patterns-`twas quite posh!!
Up on the greensward children squeal with delight,
"dad’s running rounders in shorts-cor, what a sight!?"
Secluded coves, sandy beaches
tidal marks where the water reaches,
beach huts on the lower prom`, in rows neatly placed-
ideal for `sun worshippers`-they are Easterly faced.
Up in the haven there’s a truly beautiful pool,
flanked by willows and rushes-it’s really a `jewel`,
a family of ducks and two swans here reside
a `stone’s throw` away from the ever busy tide.
Down Frinton road, `Nucleus` will fulfil every need
for water sports, ropes, tackle-impressive indeed.
The `Oakwood Inn`-and `in` is this place,
`hostelry par excellence` it does embrace.
In the `Primrose club` by Holland haven school,
try a beer `from the shelf` and keep yourself cool.
Again in Frinton Road, heading back into town,
next to the Baptist church a little further down
`Maffias` wine bar and restaurant-it’s the place to be seen.
special occasions or romantic drinks with exclusive cuisine,
and, just opposite, the `Golden Fillet` can be found,
scrumptious meals, `takeaway` or sit in pleasant surround.
`Aldington’s Newsagents`, now they’ve been here for a while,
the daily news delivered with their usual friendly smile.
In `Taskers`, lawn mowers and garden tools you will find,
and an `olde tyme` proprietor-your blades he will grind,
but possibly just fertiliser or lawn seed you require,
or matbe some kindling or coal for your fire.
At `Two Trees` restaurant, deciduous they’re not,
`evergreen service`;`traditional food`, piping hot.
so, don’t be a Cinderella, girls-give her a call!`
Over the zebra crossing with `York stores` you’re faced,
they seem to stock everything to suit every taste!
`And, what’s this?`-a sign in a windmill,
it must be the bakers, your `tum` to fill!
`The wool shop` has all the `kit` if you’re able
to make a jumper for grandpa` or a cloth for your table.
`Holland corner stores`-general supplies sold in here
`Toddlers`-a new baby shop, smart offspring to rear.
`Colin` -tonsorial artist(hairdresser to you and to me!)
will give you a trim or a shave for a reasonable fee.
`Malcolm` the butcher-his sausage is homemade,
is a cheeky individual in this little parade!
At the other approach, `the Owl and the pussycat` rest,
here sample culinary skills at their very best,
and if you’re feeling adventurous, at the `Grape and Grain`, buy
all the items you need, including the hops and the rye
to make a good brew at home, guv`nor John knows best,
whilst Ivy `rattles on` endlessly, it’s the `ultimate test
of endurance`-more than mere humans can take,
"get upstairs, woman-do something useful-bake me a cake!"
you’ve probably guessed, she’s my long suff`rin` ma-in-law
`she’s one in a million`  and she know I her abhor(oops, sorry `adore!!?)
At `Trade car sales` ,quick turnover coupled with assured driving
means this business(in  top of Sladbury`s lane)is definitely thriving.
`CJ`s`(his and hers)look after the proverbial `mop`,
a trim, complete re-styling or just `a bit off the top`.
Further down you can `Pitch and Putt at `Happy Valley`,
an enjoyable pastime in Holland-on-sea you will dally.
`Caines` the builders-experience in many years
will build you your `dream home(no limit to tiers!)
Some Sunday mornings they’re `up with the lark`.
for `car boot`, sales on the `Roaring Donkey car park,
when the session is done and they’ve `made a packet`,
`straight into the pub`-`Oh, what a racket1`
To keep the kids happy, there’s a place at the rear,
where they can play happily with mum and dad near
and if, next day, there is any surplus cash,
over the road is the `Woolwich`-they will it stash.
`Carpets direct`-there’s no middleman here,
`Christine’s flowers` will bring you good cheer.
In `Bev`s hairdressers(known as `Miss B`)
get a `blow dry and set`(with a hot cup of tea.)
`Moss`-there are no `rolling stones` there,
whatever they build, they do it with care.
`Holland Shoes` are so comfortable-sold with pride,
`try them on-no obligation-put a `spring` in your stride`,
`Supatravel`-it`s the only way to go,
the best resorts, best `deals`-they’re in the know.`
In the `Ophthalmic Opticians` you’ll see your way clear,
`Juniors` is for mums who like trendy `kids gear.`
Where to eat when out, whether snack or full meal,
the `Food Parlour` , licensed restaurant has connoisseurs appeal,
and what if your piano’s lost it’s natural progression-
when I’m not writing verse, tuning/repairs is my profession.
So down Windermere Road and on to Picker’s ditch
where the scout hut is sited with it’s football pitch,
here a little brook gently meanders along,
babbling on it`s way with rhythmical song,
then over the foot bridge and into Sladbury`s lane,
from here a better perspective you will gain
and, at a spot to the side of Smythies Farm behold
a panoramic view, in summer, `cross fields clothed with gold-
`seas of corn` brushed softly by the breeze,
on a warm day ,here, the world is indeed at ease!

Allen Warrender 1994(revised July 2011).